


Unbearable Suicide Dream

by nashimoto



Category: Jrock, the GazettE
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Porn, Blood and gore later on, Bottom Uruha, Depression, Drama, Eventual Romance, Everyone Is Gay, Kai comes later too, M/M, My First AO3 Post, Porn With Plot, Reita comes later, Shameless Smut, Sorry Not Sorry, Top Ruki, Tragic Romance, Unrequited Love, also excuse my grammar faults, anal everthing, my first language is Swedish lol, oh yeah like Aoi is a psychopath, the smut will come so fast you will barely finish saying ’dirty lemon’, this fic is disturbed and deranged af, though the romance part will be slow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-22 18:20:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4845602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nashimoto/pseuds/nashimoto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kouyou, the lonely man, who never liked to be social with anyone. He had to live alone, with his best friend. ”The psychopathic Yuu”, who was forced to the mental hospital. Until one day, he met the mysterious man Takanori at a bar. They spend a night together and Kouyou fell in love with that mysterious man, they become friends with benefits, but Kouyou saw their relationships as a real relationship. Yuu in other hands didn’t like their relationship together when he met Takanori, he tried to explain to Kouyou why he didn’t like it. What will happen? Will Kouyou listen to Yuu? Why does Yuu hate Takanori? Why is Takanori so mysterious?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologe

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic was actually written a long time ago, when I was still in high school. I decided to re-write it and for once actually finish it, because the idea of this fic was too good to not finish according to me. Now, I know that like no one ships Uruki anymore. But what the hell.. I'll just post this anyway. This is my first Uruki fic and my first fic on AO3, so I hope you'll enjoy this fic. The prologe is very short, but the chapters are long af tbh. I'll also try to update at least once a week.

Kouyou was walking through the entrance into the old building, where he was finally going to meet the only person in the whole world, who he could talk with about everything. Shiroyama, Yuu. People would easily call him ” _The Psychopathic Yuu_ ”, because he was forced into the mental hospital at young age, and was forced to stay there, forever.  
Kouyou always wondered why he never tried to escape. Maybe he was glad to be forced to live in a room, with no socialization at all. Kouyou actually knew the real reason why Yuu had to be taken to the mental hospital from the beginning, but he was afraid that he didn’t want to face that kind of fact, again. Kouyou knows Yuu is a good person, he just knows it.  
  
He got escorted by a nurse to Yuu’s room, through the very sterilized long corridor with the horrible stench of disinfectant, his room number was 621.  
When he walked into the room, he could see Yuu sitting there right in front of his window in his white chair, staring out, having a slight tranquil look on his face. Kouyou smiled faintly and gave a sign to the nurse that she could leave them alone. She nodded and walked away, while Kouyou closed the wooden door to the room.  
  
”Yuu" he said and stood beside his chair.  
  
He looked at him, and smiled gleefully.  
  
”Kouyou!” he said quite loud, Kouyou smiled back to him.  
”Please Kouyou, take a seat”, Yuu said and pointed to the chair next to his.  
  
Kouyou nodded, and sat next to him. At first, they sat there and let the silence stay between them. Until Yuu started to let out a quiet sigh.  
  
”The weather is quite nice today”, Yuu said looking out from the window again.  
”Yes, it is”, he said, and looked out too.  
  
It was early winter, the snow has just started to fall down from the sky. You could see the snowflakes fall down quietly from the sky to the wet ground, and the ground remained wet and dark.  
  
”You know what Kouyou? I always loved winter, it’s the time of the year where I can relax, just watch how the snowflakes hit the ground, get to see the beautiful scenery the snow is making to this dark world”, Yuu said with a slight depressed tone to it.  
  
Kouyou gave him a faked smile, not showing Yuu his concern to him.  
  
”What do you think of winter?” Yuu suddenly asked him.  
”Well... I don’t quite like winter”, he started.  
”It’s cold, and you have to make sure to stay warm with thick clothes. You can slip on the ground, because the ice makes it slippery, and you know that I hate it. Lastly, I feel very alone during this time of the year. Sure, I don’t like to socialize with people, but it feels like... there is someone out there who will understand ’the me’, that doesn’t like to socialize much with ”normal” people”, he said, and looked out, setting his eyes onto a tree.  
”You know what? I think the reason of what you don’t socialize much, is because you’re scared that people will think bad about you. You’re trying to get attention by people who aren’t ”normal". That can lead to horrible things Kouyou, I don’t want you to be hurt by those kind of people”, Yuu said to him with concern.  
”I... understand”, he said weakly and look at Yuu.  
  
There was a truth in what Yuu actually said to him. He was scared, he was actually terrified of people. Kouyou was nothing but a black sheep in the herd his whole life, he wasn’t popular by the kids at young age. During high school, he was nothing but a victim of bullies. He had the looks though, some girls was actually interested in him, but to their luck.. Kouyou wasn’t quite into relationships at that time. He did think he was better by himself.  
  
After an hour or two, the visit time was over in the mental hospital. Kouyou took his things, and started to walk out and to his home. He didn’t actually want to go home, he wanted to stay with Yuu. He felt lonely without him by his side, Yuu is Kouyou’s only and best friend.  
  
Without Yuu, he felt like he was nothing but worthless to this world.  



	2. Chapter 1 - Kouyou

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter is here!! It was supposed to be uploaded on Monday, but I got suddenly sick and had to postpone everything.

So, the day started as usual.  
  
Kouyou woke up, and stayed lazily a while in his bed, before he decided to get up from his bed to get dressed.  
He actually didn’t want to get up, he wanted to stay... and think.  
But what would he think about? Kouyou didn’t really have anything specific subject to think.  
  
However, he prepared himself to get up.  
  
Kouyou walked to his wardrobe, picked a pair of grey pants, a white t-shirt and a black vest.  
  
After a while, he found himself in his bathroom. Kouyou stared at himself in the mirror, thinking.  
” _How the heck can people see something interesting at me..._ ” Kouyou sighed, and continued.  
” _But... whenever I start to talk...they’ll loose their interest..._ ” you could see the pain in his eyes.  
Yuu was right, he was afraid that people would think bad of him.  
What could he do? Kouyou can’t change himself that easily, that’s a matter of fact.  
  
After thinking to himself, and brushed his teeth, Kouyou walked directly to the kitchen.  
His breakfast of choice wasn’t the best, but he didn’t care so much.  
His breakfast was a cup of coffee, and a slice of bread. That was his breakfast.  
  
After breakfast he went off to work.  
  
Kouyou couldn’t say so much of his job, because it’s not that interesting.  
The only thing he is doing with his job is… to write.  
Yeah, his work is that simple. Kouyou write, as a writer.  
  
Kouyou is not that famous, but his income is good enough to live with.  
You’re probably wondering what kind of writer he is?  
He write novels.  
Any specific genre? Well, yes... Thrillers.  
  
~  
  
When it’s time for lunch. Kouyou didn’t have anyone to eat lunch with, but he was fine being all alone, eating for himself.  
He thought of going to an Italian restaurant today. He just wanted to eat something simple, like a salad.  
  
He barely touched his food to be honest, the only thing he’s done is drinking his glass of water he ordered.  
Later on he saw a woman sitting next to him in the restaurant. He could see her watching him, almost trying to get his attention desperately.  
  
Kouyou was actually used to get stared at by both women and men. He often get hit on during evenings, whenever he was out for a walk or when he is sitting in the bar.  
So, Kouyou was kind of used to it.  
  
The woman, who was watching Kouyou. Kouyou could see her gathering her stuff. She glanced at him, sometimes. He looked at her, while he took a sip of his glass. She walked up to Kouyou, almost shyly. Then she stopped beside his table, giving him a small note.  
Kouyou pretended to look surprised at her, she smiled and said ”Bye!” to him, then she walked away. He looked at the note. It stood ” _Call me_ ”, and then he saw a phone number on it. Kouyou knew something like that would happen. He took the note and putted it in his pocket, not that he wanted to call her. He just didn’t want to seem unkind and rude.  
  
After he ate his food, Kouyou went back to his work again. In hope that he would finish his work soon, and go home.  
  
~  
  
As soon as Kouyou got home he took off all of his clothes, and walked into the shower. He let the water hit his exhausted body. After a rather long day at work Kouyou got tired, but he wanted to take a shower before he would take a nap.  
The water in the shower was so warm, he could feel his feet get this uncomfortable lurch when they’re too cold to handle the warmth. Kouyou washed his body and hair quickly, and got out from the shower.  
  
It took a while for his hair to dry, and Kouyou was too lazy to put on some clothes, except for his underwear's. So he laid down on his couch with his grey robe, feeling his eyes shut slowly from exhaustion.  
  
~  
  
It was almost nine o’ clock, and Kouyou suddenly decided to go out to the bar.  
His outfit for the evening was slim black jeans with a black and white striped t-shirt. He put a black scarf around his neck, and a black coat on himself.  
  
~  
  
On the way to a random bar, Kouyou could feel eyes stare at him. People were looking at him, some even trying to flirt with him. Some actually stopped and said ”Hi”. But he just continued to walk, and pretend like nothing had happen.  
  
When Kouyou walked in, he could feel the scent of smoke and alcohol. The bar was dark, filled with smoke from the cigarettes that people had smoked.  
  
He sat next to the bar, and sighed. Kouyou let his head lay on his hands, on the bar-table. He started to think.  
  
”Do you want something?” the bartender asked him, and Kouyou looked at him surprised. He had blonde hair, you could see that he had dyed it like that, and he had a strange band on his face covering his nose.  
Kouyou stared at him for a while, he didn’t knew if he asked him or someone else.  
Then the bartender leaned closer to him, looked him in the eyes.  
”I was asking you. Do you want something?” the bartender asked him again.  
Kouyou blushed slightly and stretched his back.  
  
”I’ll take white wine.”  
  
”You want a special brand?”  
  
”Which brands do you have?”  
  
”Oh, we have Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay and Chenin Blanc.”  
  
”I’ll take Chardonnay then.”  
  
The bartender gave him a glass of Chardonnay, and Kouyou took a small sip from it. Then he continued to sigh and think.  
  
After a while, a big slam was heard from the door. Kouyou was one of them who didn’t care to look who the person for the cause was. But he could hear and see in the corner of his eyes, that the person took the seat next to his.  
  
The person, a man, was a bit short, and had a black outfit. The man hid his hair with the hood of his sweater. He wore big sunglasses, and had a cigarette in his mouth. Then he suddenly groaned loudly, and looked at the bartender.  
  
”Give me the usual! I just had a shitty day!”  
  
” _This is not a usual thing in my boring life, there’s something special about this. This person is... interesting._ ” Kouyou thought for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE SMUT WILL HAPPEN IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. BE PREPARED!!


End file.
